Time and memory (to be children again)

Only during our childhood the hours are endless, same in length and in number; only when we still ignore their worth — or perhaps precisely because of that. Only in our childhood we’re able to maybe let an evening go by behind the window panes without feeling that our time is slipping by.
But, what’s the secret of time? How to escape its servitude? Perhaps we can only enjoy our life fully when we manage to forget about time, but then — that’s when time passes up the fastest! Methinks that it’s not possible to enjoy our time and, all at once, to seize it, since the sole conscience of its course, our very observing it, will impede our enjoyment of it; except maybe in our childhood: that golden and glorious age when we still don’t know the real value of every single hour. Afterwards, in any other period of our lives, for properly and significantly seizing the treasures that time holds we’d need to, first, have a clear conscience — yet watchful; then a numbed hope — yet alive; finally a mind unobstructed by projects — yet not devoid of them. We’d need to, in short, be children again; be able to ignore or forget what we’ve learnt. Impatience and our fear of losing that very time, so valuable and negligible all at once, are what prevent us from taking the best advantage of it — and perhaps vanity is also an obstacle.
He who wants to preserve his memories must record them, lest he forgets them, or lest they get totally lost when we pass away; because, if death seizes us ere we can savour the tasteful ambrosia of evocations, what shall remain of us? Ah, what an unfinished live we would’ve had! Like a misbalanced accounting. That’s why sometimes we feel the urge of writing down our memories. But if we yield to this desire of preserving the past, aren’t we neglecting the valuable present moment? While we write, aren’t we giving up new enriching experiences? Is it worth to lose (supposing it’s a loss) a part of our life remembering? Might be. However, to live without recollecting our past might mean to lose our whole life!

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